Never Say This To A Massage Therapist

I have been a certified massage therapist for more than a decade. I love what I do for a living, and I’m pretty darn good at it, as referenced by my 5-star yelp reviews, my consistently booked appointment schedule, and the thousands of clients I’ve worked with over the years.

Not to toot my own horn, but I am highly educated in my field. I hold an advanced diploma in sports massage, and I hold both state and national certifications in massage therapy and more. I happen to help quite a lot of people with the healing work I do, and I have the most amazing, respectful clients on the planet.

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(Some of my certifications in massage therapy and other healing work)

Sometimes, however, people in general make comments, jokes, and innuendo about the massage profession at large. I’m sure y’all know what I’m referring to here… the ol’ “happy endings” joke, and related innuendo.

I want to clarify a universal truth for the masses. Here it is:

All educated, licensed, certified professionals are offended by remarks referencing “happy endings” and any related innuendo.

This subject is most definitely NO JOKE to us. Do NOT ever say anything related to this to your massage therapist.

When you “joke” about this subject, you’re basically implying that you think we are hookers. We most definitely are not. We are badass professionals who are educated and licensed to do healing work.

Us massage therapists… we went to school to learn quite an extensive amount of anatomy and physiology so that we can therapeutically and appropriately address your pain and muscle dysfunction. We spent hours in supervised practical labs learning healing techniques so that we won’t hurt you. We were taught and tested, guided and watched by instructors, and corrected until we perfected our techniques. We take continuing education classes every year to keep our skills on par with our profession, and current for the newest modalities. And we learned ethics, professionalism, and more… all to help people manage and relieve pain, increase range of motion, flexibility, function, and more. We assist our clients to lower their stress levels and recharge in their daily lives.

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(as a profession, we do abide by a stringent code of ethics)

There are literally thousands of benefits to professional massage therapy, but thats a topic for another post.

The actual hookers and non-professionals that created that “happy endings” idea make it challenging for us therapeutic massage professionals to even get licensed. We have to jump through legal hoops just to practice the craft we were educated in. We are legitimate professionals and yet we, as an industry, have ridiculous rules and regulations written into city ordinances, and we have to be fingerprinted because of the non-legitimate folks posing as us professionals.

Do y’all know that human trafficking is a very real problem in our society? Human traffickers pose as massage establishments and then make their victims perform sex acts under the guise of the massage profession.

Human trafficking and the sex trade are very real and make huge, negative impacts on the industry as a whole. Those folks are not educated in healing work. Yet they impact the ability of the legitimate professional to obtain a license in the industry. The hoops we have to jump through to show we are educated and professionals is astounding.

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(we have state and national certifications just like many other healing professions)

So when you make a “joke” referencing the happy ending, or sexual innuendo of any kind, we take offense.

I just read about a colleague who was recently introduced at a networking event, and the person introducing her made a “happy ending” reference in front of a room full of nearly 200 people. Can you imagine the horror that massage therapist felt in that moment?  NEVER make reference to these “jokes” in a public forum such as a networking event. Jokes like this can kill a reputation and a growing business. Not to mention, set up that professional to receive an onslaught of creeper calls. Yes, that really happens, too.

And just for clarity’s sake… yes, I do have a sense of humor. A pretty hilarious one, actually. But this particular subject is not remotely funny to any massage professional.

And if you happen to schedule a massage session with me, and you choose to reference any sexual innuendo or happy ending joke… this is THE absolute quickest way to have your session immediately terminated. And yes, I will still charge you for the session. Yes, even if you were “just joking”. I have zero tolerance for this in my practice. As does every professional I know. ZERO tolerance.

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(make no mistake.. this is called a THERAPY  TABLE, not a bed)

I could tell you stories about creepers (posing as potential “clients”) who seek out services that, shall we say, are not professionally therapeutic massage related. You’d be surprised how often this happens, actually. There is nothing “funny” about this subject, and by the way, it’s illegal to seek out/solicit prostitution in California. Yes, we actually do report those text messages and phone calls to local authorities.

I happen to have been blessed with the very best clients who are respectful of my craft, and who value the healing work I do. I personally don’t run in to this problem much anymore, but when the subject does comes up, it’s addressed immediately. Zero tolerance.

So please, respect and highly value your massage therapy professional. They are educated, licensed, and gifted in legitimate, professional, therapeutic healing techniques.. all to help you to live your life pain free!

fullsizerender-13 Love, Cam xoxo

 

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